Here’s the truth, I used to be sad inside and I smiled anyway. I was stuck in a pattern for years and years, I was the girl that knew how to look happy even if I was sad inside. I knew how to fake it. I knew how to flourish my life with distractions so that I never felt lonely- but I did.
Through yoga, I learned how to be happy. I learned that it was inside of me all this time. I didn’t have to work hard for it. I just had to be. Through yoga, I learned so much about myself. I learned my passion in mind, body, beauty topics. All the ‘random’ things I did that didn’t make sense to me suddenly made complete sense. I love the idea of using movement to find the true light within you, and then to reap the benefits of it all physically is such a plus to me. Why not enjoy all of the earthly pleasures? **in moderation.
This is not because I am getting married, nor is it because I think I have to be at this point in my life, or that I am faking it. I now feel it in a continuous way. And when I’m not happy, I know how to spiral out of it because I got there by choice. I am aware of my emotions. And I know that I am in full control of it.
I am happy because I choose to be happy.
I am aware that I can spiral out of happiness by participating in self-loathing, or gossiping, or comparing. I also know that I can stick with perpetual happiness by staying in the light: thinking light, speaking light and not participating in over-thinking, not participating in fear based thoughts or conversations. When you feel as though you have nothing to prove, and have no one to impress- it is a liberating feeling.
I never used to smile at strangers, and I always looked at men as untrustworthy beings. Now I know that we are all human. I can look up and smile at a stranger and it’s just a friendly millisecond of a connection that says, yes- I see you, and I acknowledge you.
I am grateful for the hardships because I have learned from them.
As time passes with this awareness, it will feel more and more effortless. I don’t have to smile in every photo. I don’t have to smile at everyone. I don’t have to make the effort to look happy. I feel it. I am happy.
xx love & light.